Friday, May 30, 2014

One month and will I run again?

Today is my one month surgeriversary.

They've started weening me off crutches in PT.  So I've had days of some increased pain, which they say is normal as I start using the crutches less.   Tuesday was particularly painful, to the point where I had convinced myself that I had injured myself somehow.   Things are better today but I'm still constantly worried about something being wrong whenever something feels "off".

I will be having my last pool therapy session next week and then we will move to all land-based therapy.  My pool work right now is 5 minute sessions each of:

  • Walking, forward and backwards
  • Lateral walking
  • Marching
  • Lunges
  • Squats
  • Calf raises
  • Step ups
  • Leg raises


By the end, my legs are pretty tired... and that's with the assistance of buoyancy!  I've noticed that my surgery leg is a good 1/2" smaller in diameter than my other leg.   It looks... scrawny.   We'll be adding in more strength work in the next few weeks and things should improve.

I've done a lot of thinking about my running future over the last week.   I have been having pains in my "good" hip.  I know I have poor body mechanics and chronic issues.  I have yet to have one year of running in four years without some sort of injury and time on the DL.   I had cartilage peeling off the bone in my hip, which is a step away from arthritis... which isn't that far from needing a hip replacement.

I have to wonder if my body just cannot handle running.

Is it worth the risk?

Did fixing the impingement solve some of my body mechanics issues and maybe I'll have a better track record going forward?

Will I know the difference between normal post-op-resuming-to-running aches and pains from something-is-wrong-I-should-stop aches and pains?

Will I be happy if I don't ever run again?  Will I regret the decision to not give it a try?

Sigh.

This is what happens after four weeks of nothing much to do but overthink things!

Part of the reason why this is such a struggle is that most of my social circles and "fun" activities center around running.  It's hard to let that go.  Because then... what would I do?  I think I would be happy riding my bike more, but I won't do bike races so I would still miss out on the competitive part that's a lot of the fun.  Can I deal with that?

Sigh.





6 comments:

  1. I feel as if I could have written this post! I constantly am wondering about my aches if they are normal or if I am doing too much. Additionally, my exercising is a very social thing for me and I used to get all of my girl talk time during my runs! Best of luck as you continue to recover.

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    1. The social part is really more important to me than anything else! Though the getting in shape part is certainly an added benefit. :P

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  2. Another way to stay involved w/ running is to be on the "inside" of racing...volunteering, timing, etc. I know someone locally who has done that when injuries have prevented him from running as much. That being said, maybe if you just take it easy and run just 2-3 miles instead of longer distances your body would be okay? I TOTALLY get the running addiction, trust me!!

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    1. That's true. I try to volunteer as much as I can even when healthy but sometimes logistically it can be tough especially if DH is running (coordinating shifts with when he'll finish etc). I have been team photographer for the last few races/events!

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  3. I don't think you should say that you'll never run again. Maybe it would be smarter to never race again, or run too far again, but to never ever run again? You'll run again. Maybe it'll only be shorter runs and you'll supplement that with biking and other activities, but don't say never! Things will look so much more optimistic in a month or two :)

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    Replies
    1. I know, I know. I just need to keep the faith. :)

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